The clock is ticking . . .

Only 3 more days until I am no longer the person I am today --Well, I'll still be mostly the same person I am today, just with a few slight changes. How do I feel about having these changes made to me? Scared, relieved, grateful, apprehensive, nervous, free. . . and a little excited to spend the next six weeks taking it easy and being pampered by all of my loved ones.

Preparing for surgery is much like preparing to have a baby. I feel that I am "nesting." I have been cleaning, baking, and organizing like crazy for the past two weeks. There is no way that I will ever be able to completely finish the tasks on my list before Thursday. The major difference between surgery and giving birth, is that I won't have a cute little cuddly baby to bring home with me to distract me from the pain. But on the other hand, I won't be getting up at all hours of the night for feedings either!

I am also somewhat pensive. Well, as pensive as I can be, anyway. I'm so thankful for the beautiful family that I have been blessed with. I'm so happy with the children that I have been given. They are truly gifts and I cherish them immensely. I don't regret that stage of my life (childbirth) coming to a close. I feel very fulfilled as a mother, and I am ready to move on. I am ready to make myself as healthy as possible to withstand the next chapter of my life--whatever is given to me (teenagers).

Strangely, as James and I were driving home from our anniversary date, we discussed the matter of complications. Actually we skipped the whole part about complications and talked about his moving on if I died. I know, morbid, but, I think, a little necessary. I told him to go ahead and get remarried right away. Then I listed off some names of prospective wives for him. He wasn't too keen on my list. But, hey, I was just thinking of my kids! I am not worried at all about "moving on" eternally. Sure you all would miss me and everything. But I'd see you soon. And oh, how wonderful to have fulfilled my calling here on earth. But, I know that my number's not up quite yet. Gratefully, I shall live to see another day. It is an interesting thing to ponder, however.

FYI Surgery date Thursday, November 13 Th 8 AM. Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and of course, phone calls! :)